dweeb dweeeeeb~

2009/11/05

The phone came. The phone came!

My white iPhone is everything I wished it to be.

I said a big thank you to my daddy and he looked at me with a sideways glance. Sheesh.

LOL..

Still waiting for the puppy.

Just came back from Damansara today,

going to Sarawak tomorrow.

I am really tired.

Need to pack, need to watch drama, need to relax

&BelbeL signed off @7:38 PM

2009/11/04

IT IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!

now, to pack for sarawak trip.

and to wait for the puppy.

and to wait for the phone.

and to unpack in the new place.

BLEAH.

&BelbeL signed off @8:34 PM

2009/11/03

omg. going subang.
omg. got my first offer.
omg. panicking for exam tomorrow.
omg. omg. omg.

&BelbeL signed off @12:14 PM

2009/11/01

I suddenly realised I have not blogged about the Langkawi trip... or plans for it anyway. The continuous absence from blogging has made me absent minded as well!

Initially I was all hyped up for the trip in December, excited.. I told my parents about the trip and my daddy said yes, albeit a little reluctantly..

but nearer to the exams, I realised that the crowd was not who I was really comfortable to go with.

Couples all around and I felt that the trip might be awkward since I was the only other girl. Plus it did not help that my mummy started firing questions at me about the trip and the answers were not pretty. Soon enough, my mummy said NO to the trip. Part of me was upset but another part of me felt relieved that I did not have to make the decision to go or not to.

However things soon spiraled down a black hole. I got stressed, friends were upset, and the trip is now unconfirmed. I think I upset a friend by complaining too much to him, and another by concealing some facts until later.

But I remember when I met them all and I felt totally out of place and retarded. When I went off and re-met up with them, my friend immediately assured me that she was not upset with me. I think it was obvious that I was trying to avoid the topic as I was talking about something else, avoiding eye contact, doing everything I could to change the subject. I also knew that he had told her about everything that has occurred. It unnerved me that they had been talking about me behind my back and later to me.. I know that it is normal for friends to talk to other friends about another friend, but when they talk to that friend after that, I find it awkward.

I know, and I am thankful that the entire conversation took place. Things slowly morphed back to normal after that, but the awkwardness of the situation cannot be forgotten and till now, I am afraid of EVER going back to that situation.

On a more cheerful note, I have received permission from daddy to go out on my birthday. He did not set a curfew so I think it is pretty much free-reign as long as I do not go overboard. =D Looking forward to chilling out with the handful of people. =)

Now, to continue my drama craze!

~~200 pounds beauty~~

Fated to love you

Princess Hours (4th time rewatching)

I wish I could let go. I wish I could erase it all. I am, but it is still tugging at the corner of my heart.

&BelbeL signed off @12:08 PM

2009/10/31

Sometimes I feel bad when I do not read up on others blog..

but when I do, I realise I have either no idea what they are talking about,

completely blur about the recent happenings, have been cut out from the group slowly or I simply am not interested in what they have to say anymore.

Is it a crime?

Is it a sin?

I hate to admit it but my daddy is right. Friendships come and go.. They fade away. One must never hold on too tightly, because all that will be left is disappointment. After all, we are human and it is just in us to hurt others unintentionally.

Today I found some crumpled wrinkled fruit in the fridge so I asked what it was and tried to bite through the skin. I late found out that it is a passionfruit or Markisa.. and that there was two in the fridge. I was really excited and so I began to cut it and ate it...

It was so sour I almost peed in my shorts!

But thankfully we had peaches in the fridge so I mixed the syrup with the two fruits and added water to it. It is really nice. =)

I like the song Picture To Burn!

I'd burn our picture together, but I do not have a hard copy picture with you.

I'd burn our picture together, but there is always another friend in it.

I want to burn our picture together because I want to erase all the false memories you gave me. I need to get it out of my system because all you did was lie and play.

Breathe

This is the video I relate to. Right now.

but after a long day and a night of entertainment of which I will blog about tmr, I shall call it a day. Toodleoos.

&BelbeL signed off @3:55 PM

2009/10/30

I have an annoying obsession with spelling and pronunciation, grammar and sentence structure. I must profess that I am not perfect in these, but I strive for and towards perfection.

Somehow, the need to blog seems to have stem from the love of talking, but a sad part about blogging is that, unlike discussion where you receive feedbacks and other opinions on the spot, sometimes people do not even give two hoots about what you blogged about.

Perhaps this is privacy? But it is not truly privacy since it is still up for the whole world to read.

But oh well, with nothing else to update.. I will call it a day.

&BelbeL signed off @12:58 PM

2009/10/29

and it feels weird...

but the lack of contact, seem to make me less vulnerable, or at least I feel this way.

I do not feel a need to call or text, facebook or email,

and I feel that all is well.

Perhaps this feeling will stay and my attachment will fade away and give way to other emotions.

But who am I to complain about this new feeling?

Or am I actually rejoicing?

The chance to learn driving... the hopes of learning and mastering it has been dashed. The instructor said the only time is in the coming June.. Hell...

The iPhone has not arrived and I am starting to get anxious..

Neither has the puppy set foot in our compound..

And my finishing the book Eragon has just made me want to read Elder and Brisinger!

but the most scary thought is that my Math paper is is less than a week!

I am unprepared, I have lost my book and I do not know anything! Fear has started to creep in and I am starting to panic.. but all hope is not lost... YET

Okay, I am scared but I am still watching TV, still blogging, still attempting to distract myself...

but then again, I keep thinking... why panic now when I cannot do anything about it.. Since I do not have any books.. Sigh. I am such a procrastinator.

Perhaps it is better to keep my distance, so I do not feel betrayed.. or hurt.. but rather, nonchalant about things..

=) Some things cannot remain as it was or as they were.

Am I evil or selfish because I relish having this break..because I am glad to be able to breakaway, not feel hurt, and actually enjoy it?

We were once close, we were once good friends, but we will remain friends and nothing more. =)

&BelbeL signed off @10:28 PM

2009/10/26

Wheeee, the pictures are almost all up, but the stupid auto uploader always causes safari to jam up.. It is really quite annoying. Plus everything takes so long... I feel like I am dying when I wait... but that is just how our generation is... impatient and unappreciative. Sigh... Am I generalising too much?

Anyway, shall blog tomorrow eventhough I have updates. It is getting late and I need to go to bed. BLEAH.

&BelbeL signed off @8:39 PM

2009/10/24

Holy crap. I am excited and scared.
AHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO GET IN SO BAD RIGHT NOW.
DAMMIT.

On second note, the HTC is actually a decently nice phone, but I cannot wait for my iPhone 3GS. No stock no stock.... SIGH. HURRY UP LA.
BLEAH.... so much to do, so little time!!!

When's my driving thing going to start?

Okay, I am so excited that I cannot even blog properly.. Nothing is coming out coherently.

The Red Shoes
Phantom of the Opera

Nice shows.
Shall watch a few more today.
Yiiippppeeee.
Oh yes, and shall upload long due pictures since I have good internet.
Teehee.

Toodleeos people. =)

&BelbeL signed off @11:36 AM

2009/10/23

Yes yes yes, still one paper left..

I am currently home,

crazy with the internet and television,

and currently doing both.

I am trying to update my iTunes, iPod, iPhone and whatever else that needs updating..

I see my msn ALIVE and it feels a little odd..

It has been a little too long since I was last online. =P

but there is no one to talk to... Sigh.

I know there is a lot of angst,

and I need a release of it all.

I know and understand the cause of it all, but yet I cannot approach it properly and I still do not know how to resolve it. Months of all this nonsense and I am still stuck in it.

It is amazing, how life works.

How one may be upset but still holding it in because of society's perception on things.

How one may be on the verge of bitch-slapping people, but holding it in.

How one may not truly do what one wishes to, due to the implications of it all.

How one cannot just have no cares about the world because it is this very care that has rendered one so upset.

How can one hold it all in when all one wants is to explode

&BelbeL signed off @8:48 PM